I am the most jealous person in the world. I don't actually do anything about it, because if I did I'd be crazy. I have to bottle it all up inside until it gets too full and bursts. It burst yesterday but now it's filling up again quickly.
When it comes to the guys I have huge crushes on (ie. Anthony and Toby) I can't help but hurt when I see them with their girls. I enjoy pretending they're single to make myself feel better but when I see pictures and shit, my bottle fills up as quick as I can say FML.
I found that whenever I have a crush in real life, it takes my attention away from the fantasy world and the men I don't have any chance with whatsoever. But when I'm alone...I'm completely broken. I know that when I find a boyfriend of my own, the grip I have around Toby and Anthony will loosen and I'll feel better when I remember they're taken. Until then, I'm dead inside.
I hate it when people get all cutesy about relationships; it grosses me out. I'm a bitter, nasty, selfish bitch when it comes to love but I can't help it. I've said I like Justine and I really do and I'm growing accustomed to Olga Kay but I can only see them seperate from Toby. If I see them together...my heart breaks. I sound like a loser, I know. I hate it.
Anyway, the reason why I haven't posted my Tobuscus fanfc is because I'm extra emotional this week and simple things like seeing Toby with girls discourages me and makes me feel like an idiot. So I apologize for that.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Kalel Cullen
We all know who she is and for those who don't, she's Anthony Padilla's girlfriend. I thought it was time to put my opinion on the whole controversy that's been going around.
Kalel isn't a bad person. The only reason people truly hate on her is because she's dating a guy none of us will ever date let alone meet. So I have no idea why people are calling her names like that. I myself, don't like her but don't hate her. I'm jealous, yes, but I'm not gonna go bully her on the internet and be a bitch about it. I can't believe people even do that in the first place! Why do you think it's okay to go directly to the person and tell them you hate their guts and call them names? You have no reason to; she didn't do anything directly to you! I understand if she actually did, you might have a reason but to the majority, no she's done nothing wrong.
If Anthony loves her then we should respect that and not hate on her. Imagine if you loved a boy and he loved you back, but then a whole mass amount of girls that liked him started hating on you just because you two were together. That's total bullshit and you'd feel shitty if that happened to you!
I heard that people actually dedicated a site to hating her videos. That is the true definition of RUDE AND IMMATURE. People actually take the time out of their day to post on the site just to bring somebody they don't even know down.
As to Kalel herself, she is one of the strongest girls out there. She deals with all this cruel hate and even if it does get to her, she doesn't show it. All that matters to her are her fans and the people that love her. Hell, if Anthony loved me I wouldn't give TWO FUCKS about what other people thought of me. She's one lucky gal and we have to just deal with the fact that Anthony will not nor will ever love us the way he loves her. I know it's terrible to think, but it's the hard truth.
Anyway, this blog wasn't meant to make you guys feel like shit, I'm just stating my opinion on how some of my friends are taking this Kalel controversy. Most of you are taking it well or don't even care, but some I've seen are not.
I'm saying this to the HARD-CORE HATERS: Grow up and get a life. Stop hating on the poor girl, who does nothing but make videos for her fans and for herself.
Thank you.
Kalel isn't a bad person. The only reason people truly hate on her is because she's dating a guy none of us will ever date let alone meet. So I have no idea why people are calling her names like that. I myself, don't like her but don't hate her. I'm jealous, yes, but I'm not gonna go bully her on the internet and be a bitch about it. I can't believe people even do that in the first place! Why do you think it's okay to go directly to the person and tell them you hate their guts and call them names? You have no reason to; she didn't do anything directly to you! I understand if she actually did, you might have a reason but to the majority, no she's done nothing wrong.
If Anthony loves her then we should respect that and not hate on her. Imagine if you loved a boy and he loved you back, but then a whole mass amount of girls that liked him started hating on you just because you two were together. That's total bullshit and you'd feel shitty if that happened to you!
I heard that people actually dedicated a site to hating her videos. That is the true definition of RUDE AND IMMATURE. People actually take the time out of their day to post on the site just to bring somebody they don't even know down.
As to Kalel herself, she is one of the strongest girls out there. She deals with all this cruel hate and even if it does get to her, she doesn't show it. All that matters to her are her fans and the people that love her. Hell, if Anthony loved me I wouldn't give TWO FUCKS about what other people thought of me. She's one lucky gal and we have to just deal with the fact that Anthony will not nor will ever love us the way he loves her. I know it's terrible to think, but it's the hard truth.
Anyway, this blog wasn't meant to make you guys feel like shit, I'm just stating my opinion on how some of my friends are taking this Kalel controversy. Most of you are taking it well or don't even care, but some I've seen are not.
I'm saying this to the HARD-CORE HATERS: Grow up and get a life. Stop hating on the poor girl, who does nothing but make videos for her fans and for herself.
Thank you.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Just My Luck
When it comes to relationships, I'm the unlucky one that never gets what I want but if I do, it's not good enough.
See I have a crush on this guy at school and thing is; all he'll ever be is a friend. This person doesn't know who he is (believe me, it's for the best) but when he breaks my heart, all I can do is smile to hide it. This is my luck. I like a guy, he likes me as a friend. I always have this feeling that this is how my life will continue on screwing me over. With false feelings, false actions and false signs that indicate the line between friends and more than friends.
I'm a natural romantic; this is what drives my creativity in writing. This is why I can write incredible love stories. Because I have all these things I want to happen to me already planted in my brain and since they've never happened, all I can do is imagine it.
My good friend Jayce has helped me through a ton of crap that's happened to me this past week. He's the only person aside from my mom that knows exactly where I'm coming from and boosts up my confidence level whenever I need it :) Seriously, I would probably be doing some pretty stupid things if he wasn't around to encourage me through all of this. So Jayce if you're reading this THANK YOU :D :D
So yeah, this was just a little blog to briefly explain what's been goin on in my so-called "love life" (in actuality I have no love life but whatever) and yeah!
PS I love Andy Lange (LOL)
See I have a crush on this guy at school and thing is; all he'll ever be is a friend. This person doesn't know who he is (believe me, it's for the best) but when he breaks my heart, all I can do is smile to hide it. This is my luck. I like a guy, he likes me as a friend. I always have this feeling that this is how my life will continue on screwing me over. With false feelings, false actions and false signs that indicate the line between friends and more than friends.
I'm a natural romantic; this is what drives my creativity in writing. This is why I can write incredible love stories. Because I have all these things I want to happen to me already planted in my brain and since they've never happened, all I can do is imagine it.
My good friend Jayce has helped me through a ton of crap that's happened to me this past week. He's the only person aside from my mom that knows exactly where I'm coming from and boosts up my confidence level whenever I need it :) Seriously, I would probably be doing some pretty stupid things if he wasn't around to encourage me through all of this. So Jayce if you're reading this THANK YOU :D :D
So yeah, this was just a little blog to briefly explain what's been goin on in my so-called "love life" (in actuality I have no love life but whatever) and yeah!
PS I love Andy Lange (LOL)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Being Sick Sucks.
Ugh today's been a stupid day.
Well I woke up feeling tired like I do every day. First period wasn't too bad I guess but then I got to second period and I couldn't even cook :( All I did was sit there and listen to music. It was LAME.
So I decided I should just go home at lunch but I had to get something for my Ghost Hunting Club. I went into the room and waited like twenty minutes. Everybody else showed up 'cept my friend and the leader of the group. I finally said screw it and left so that sucked.
When I got home I decided to eat some salad and watch Resident Evil 1!!!!! woot
Buuuut the left side of my hip hurt wayyy too bad so my mom and I went to Urgent Care. They took some tests and everything but they said nothing looked wrong so idk what the firetruck is wrong with me :/
Anyway, when I got home I finished RE then went to sleep.
I slept for FOUR FRICKEN HOURS!!!!!! I hate taking long naps on the weekdays... but when I woke up I felt better and now here I am writing about how crappy today was.
So yeah.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a lot better! :)
Well I woke up feeling tired like I do every day. First period wasn't too bad I guess but then I got to second period and I couldn't even cook :( All I did was sit there and listen to music. It was LAME.
So I decided I should just go home at lunch but I had to get something for my Ghost Hunting Club. I went into the room and waited like twenty minutes. Everybody else showed up 'cept my friend and the leader of the group. I finally said screw it and left so that sucked.
When I got home I decided to eat some salad and watch Resident Evil 1!!!!! woot
Buuuut the left side of my hip hurt wayyy too bad so my mom and I went to Urgent Care. They took some tests and everything but they said nothing looked wrong so idk what the firetruck is wrong with me :/
Anyway, when I got home I finished RE then went to sleep.
I slept for FOUR FRICKEN HOURS!!!!!! I hate taking long naps on the weekdays... but when I woke up I felt better and now here I am writing about how crappy today was.
So yeah.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a lot better! :)
Monday, March 7, 2011
It's All About Me Pt. 1
Hey guys!!! Well I decided it's time for me to start an actual blog; so here I am!
My first blogs I wanted to dive more into depth about myself, about how I work, how I think, my weird quircks, my interesting habits etc etc...
I use Alina Renee as my pen name because my last name is wayyy too long and complicated to spell for people who aren't Scottish. A fun fact is that my Zodiac sign is 100% accurate; I'm a Libra and if you were to look up facts about Libras, every one of them describes me.
I'm a naturally nice person
in love with the idea of being in love
not very comfortable with critizism especially about my writing
a dependable person, friend and partner
Being a naturally nice person does have it's flaws. I can't talk back to people unless I'm having a terrible day. I will always give a friendly smile to a stranger unless they give me a dirty look first. I can't be mean to people I don't know, it's just not in my nature to be mean. I will bear my claws more online than in real life. In real life I'm a 5'2" tall, 102 lb girl; if I got into a fight I'd probably die. So I can't say things in person that I can online. I think everybody's a different person online than in real life, especially to people you don't know in RL.
The fact that being in love with love is a libra thing makes me feel more confident and better about myself personally. Something hard that I have to deal with every day is the idea of being alone, because I'm in love with love I see relationships every day in school it makes me feel lonely and I hate it. I've done some terrible things in my past that I would definetly take back because it wasn't worth it at all. Then the word "obsession" can take up that space of love; it sometimes just pisses me off that I can't find someone like in my stories.
Speaking of my writing; I write to live. I don't know where I'd be if I couldn't write. When I'm feeling sad and lonely, I'll write a romantic story to make me feel better. I do, however, feel as if my writing can be a bad thing. I don't exactly live in reality anymore. I'll make up stories in my head about what I want to happen instead of what really happens on Earth. It's not a good thing, it just feeds the fire.
Another quick fun fact about me is that I LOVE talking about myself with people. I love showing off my tattoos (I have three so far, a guitar, eye of horus and the word Love written on my chest. I want 2 more, an alien and Libra sign) I love talking about things I love to do, I'm kinda self centered when it comes to...well me! It's something I should probably get over but sometimes I just can't help it!
Well I don't want this to be too long because I don't want to bore you people too much so I'll end it here and chat more about myself tomorrow xD
See ya! <3
My first blogs I wanted to dive more into depth about myself, about how I work, how I think, my weird quircks, my interesting habits etc etc...
I use Alina Renee as my pen name because my last name is wayyy too long and complicated to spell for people who aren't Scottish. A fun fact is that my Zodiac sign is 100% accurate; I'm a Libra and if you were to look up facts about Libras, every one of them describes me.
I'm a naturally nice person
in love with the idea of being in love
not very comfortable with critizism especially about my writing
a dependable person, friend and partner
Being a naturally nice person does have it's flaws. I can't talk back to people unless I'm having a terrible day. I will always give a friendly smile to a stranger unless they give me a dirty look first. I can't be mean to people I don't know, it's just not in my nature to be mean. I will bear my claws more online than in real life. In real life I'm a 5'2" tall, 102 lb girl; if I got into a fight I'd probably die. So I can't say things in person that I can online. I think everybody's a different person online than in real life, especially to people you don't know in RL.
The fact that being in love with love is a libra thing makes me feel more confident and better about myself personally. Something hard that I have to deal with every day is the idea of being alone, because I'm in love with love I see relationships every day in school it makes me feel lonely and I hate it. I've done some terrible things in my past that I would definetly take back because it wasn't worth it at all. Then the word "obsession" can take up that space of love; it sometimes just pisses me off that I can't find someone like in my stories.
Speaking of my writing; I write to live. I don't know where I'd be if I couldn't write. When I'm feeling sad and lonely, I'll write a romantic story to make me feel better. I do, however, feel as if my writing can be a bad thing. I don't exactly live in reality anymore. I'll make up stories in my head about what I want to happen instead of what really happens on Earth. It's not a good thing, it just feeds the fire.
Another quick fun fact about me is that I LOVE talking about myself with people. I love showing off my tattoos (I have three so far, a guitar, eye of horus and the word Love written on my chest. I want 2 more, an alien and Libra sign) I love talking about things I love to do, I'm kinda self centered when it comes to...well me! It's something I should probably get over but sometimes I just can't help it!
Well I don't want this to be too long because I don't want to bore you people too much so I'll end it here and chat more about myself tomorrow xD
See ya! <3
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